MEANINGFUL DISTRACTION

Okay, maybe not a real “unicorn” per say, but damn near close enough to get my heart all aflutter as if I was eleven years old again.

A deer with a single horn in the center of its head has been spotted in Italy, reports the AP.

The 1-year-old Roe Deer was born in captivity in a research center’s park in the Tuscan town of Prato, which is near Florence. His twin has two horns, making him what I guess would be a duocorn.

What this natural anomaly shows us is that the myth of the unicorn may not have been completely made up. While it is believed that the narwhal (a whale with a long, spiral tusk) is most likely the inspiration behind the fabled animal, a horse or deer with this same sort of genetic defect could be responsible.

This is pretty interesting. Airports will now use body scanning software to peek under our clothes to make sure we’re not carrying bad things onto planes.

What the hell, right? No more (not so) “random pat downs,” probably means less waiting in lines, and of course, the real benefit — the possibility of this actually making us safer.

Rest assured, in time the systems will get hacked and people’s privacy will be invaded — but let’s be honest — that’s already happening, big time. This may end up being less invasive. I mean, I can’t feel you X-raying my special places, but I can feel it when you mess with my nipple rings.

The government says: “We’re just scratching the surface of what we can do with whole-body imaging.” Ya don’t say?

Cross my heart and hope to die, two monkeys with tiny brain sensors have learned to move a mechanical robot arm with just their mind, reports the NY Times! Scary-crazy!

A grid in the super-monkey’s brain carries signals from 100 neurons and moves the arm so that they can grab food. Scientists expect that this sort of machine-brain tech will at some point let people with spinal cord injuries and other paralyzing conditions to gain more control over their lives.

Which is great, but seems like something the military or some evil world power would be able to use for total domination, no? What would Charleton Heston (RIP) think?  Monkey Revolution NOW!

I suddenly feel like I am writing for the Onion or National Enquirer, but there is a Denver man who is seriously commissioning for the arrival of alien visitors. 

Jeff Peckman is planning on releasing authentic video footage of 4ft tall gray spacemen and asks that an 18-member Extraterrestrial Affairs Commission be put in place.

When asked by city boardman if he was serious (read-completely fucking nuts), Jeff responded that while he has never actually seen an alien before, there have been UFOs landing in Los Angeles and hovering near the White House. 

Jeff needs 4,000 signatures to get the proposal on the ballot. So I guess we will find out just how many people are seriously gullible.

This thing is MASSIVE! I just saw a History Channel special on this bitch and still can’t believe it. It was caught a few years back and weighed 1,051 lbs and measured 9-feet-4-inches.

It looks like something out of a bad cautionary fairy tale. If Hansel and Gretel came face to face with this monster instead of a cannibalistic witch, I am betting more kids would think twice about running away.

Crazy thing is though-it was an 11-year-old Alabama boy who shot it. Can you believe a pistol killed that son-of-a-bitch? It must of had silver bullets.

And while it scares the crap out of me, it also (oddly enough) makes me think of a your mamma’s so fat joke.  Sad.

Supposedly it is, but I just can’t believe it.  It’s not the fact that the dude is surfing on the back of a deadly great white or anything, but the fact that he lassoed a shark like a deep sea cowboy. Anyone have any thoughts/facts on this?