MEANINGFUL DISTRACTION

I for one find Seth Rogan Disgusting (yes, that is a captial D).  I think he is probably one of the most unlikely stars ever-he’s chubby, slovenly and every movie he makes degrades women in some way.  I do however, love James Franco and pot, so I am pretty stoked to see this flick. 

Click here for the leaks.

Will there be an Arnold cameo? Maybe, maybe not. We’ll keep you posted on what we hear.

Neil Patrick Harris is, simply stated, awesome.  In addition, he is an underrated comic genius, as displayed in the Harold and Kumar movies.  Now, Patrick is getting laughs again as Dr. Horrible.

The first installment of the  Joss Whedon’s direct-to-web musical launched yesterday.  The story is about a wannabe villain who battles it out with his arch nemesis, Captain Hammer,  and tries to romance his neighbor,  

The site launched yesterday and was so popular it crashed and it reached #1 on iTunes for TV Season & Episode downloads.  But no worries!  The site is back up now and can be downloaded at the iTunes Store for $2 or watched for free here.

The second and third portions will be available Thursday and Saturday.

The PR for Batman is kicking in to high gear this week.  Hottie Christian Bale appeared on the Today Show this morning and the stellar reviews have been steadily streaming out along with calls for a posthumous Oscar for Heath Ledger. 

Stellar, all except for 3: 

-The New Yorker’s Dave Deby said “This movie is grim and jammed together. The narrative isn’t shaped coherently to bring out contrasts and build toward a satisfying climax. The Dark Knight is constant climax; it’s always in a frenzy, and it goes on forever.”

-NY Mag’s David Edelstein says, “The Dark Knight is noisy, jumbled, and sadistic.”

-And finally, Marshal Fine, from pillar of journalism, Star Magazine, calls the flick “too in love with itself to make you love it.”

Click through to see the positive reviews that counter these critics claims.

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I am sorry but I, along with millions of teenagers and gays, can not wait to see this movie.  And no, I am not ashamed.  Zac Efron is beautiful and perfect, though admitedly young (he’s20), masturbatory fodder.  HSM is practically porn..if porn were about dancing, singing, high school and having a Disney-approved chaste wholesomeness.

The film is set to be released in October.

Check out Animal for more.

New York Magazine has gotten its hands on a draft of Quentin Tarantino’s new script he’s shopping around Hollywood, “Inglorious Bastards.” The version they received includes a handwritten title page (shown above) believed to be done by QT himself. (If so, he misspelled the words “Inglorious Bastards!”) New York Magazine is calling the script, QUOTE, “batshit over-the-top insane”… which comes as a surprise to exactly no one.

The full article is copied after the jump.

Related: TARANTINO’S NEW CASTING COUCH CALL: SEEKING “INGLORIOUS BASTARDS”

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The New York Times reports that Warner Bros. and New Line Cinema are “already at work” on a big-screen sequel to Sex and the City. Ultimately the decision rests with HBO President Richard Plepler, but another HBO bigwig is quoted as saying:

“There is enormous interest … And I think, in fact, they’re trying, with our help, to put that together now. When that happens, how long between, can’t say. But there’s absolutely interest.”

Neither Lark or me has seen the first one, so we can’t really say if the storyline is worth doubling down on. It’s not so much a big deal that I haven’t seen it, but Lark recently told me (in a drunken stupor) that it if anyone finds out she hasn’t seen it someone is going to “revoke her vagina.” Apparently it’s that serious.

Related:

SICK OF SEX & THE CITY YET?

NY TIMES DOESN’T CARE FOR CARRIE, I SAY WHO CARES FOR REVIEWS?

SEX & THE CITY NEW YORK PREMIERE: EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO KNOW

REQUISITE SEX & THE CITY POST: CRAIGSLIST TICKET SCALPERS

LADIES ARE GEARING UP FOR SEX & THE CITY RELEASE

Guy Richie may be losing a Madonna, but he’s gaining a Robert Downey Jr.

The Iron Man star has signed on to play the lead in Sherlock Holmes, which is being produced by Warner Brothers. 

And while this has ratings gold all over it, there is one major problem:  Columbia Pictures is coming out with a Judd Apatow Sherlock comedy at the same time starring Sacha Baron Cohen and Will Ferrell, which one can only imagine involves Sherlock and Watson making a lot of piss and cum jokes.  “I say Watson. these hounds of bakersfield won’t stop sniffing my nuts.”

Quentin Tarantino and I are both from the South, so I like to think we have a connection. And, like anyone with whom you have a relationship, there are certain things you know and certain things you don’t know about that person.

I don’t know, for example, if its because he enjoys locking himself in hotel rooms full of drugs and Chinese prostitutes that I like him, or in spite of it.

But I do know he’s shopping a new script around Hollywood. And I do know that he likes Brad Pitt for the lead role.

And I do know that even though I haven’t really liked a Tarantino film since the early 90s, I’m always appreciative of the titles he gives his movies…

Reservoir Dogs, Grindhouse, Come Drink With Me, et cetera

…and his new soon-to-be cinematic disaster masterpiece: Inglorious Bastards.

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Sacha Baron Cohen is at it again. But this time, instead of playing a anti-Semitic Kazakhstani, the funnyman is causing havoc in Arkansas as Bruno.

Crowds recently gathered for $1 beers and cage fighting were treated to the spectacle of men kissing and ripping each others clothes off, reports the AP.

The 1,600 person crowd went ape-shit and started throwing their beers at the men.

This movie is going to be hilarious. Bruno is way more in than the outs!

For those of you who didn’t see the movie this weekend and have been hearing about the plot twist that many critics says wrecks the film, here you go:

Charlize Theron’s character, the wife of publicist (Jason Bateman) and love-interest of Hancock (Will Smith) turns out to be a superhero too!  Her power is revealed in a scene where Hancock tries to kiss her and she picks him and throws him out the window of her house. 

Charlize’s character also reveals that she and Hancock are descendants of Gods and were once husband and wife! 

Eighty years ago, the couple were on their way to becoming mortal when Hancock saved someone from being mugged.  He got knocked out and lost his memory at which point she left him because for some reason or another, the more time they spend together, the weaker their powers become.

Related:

SMITH WHIPS OUT HIS “BIG WILLY,” SMACKS CRITICS IN FACE WITH IT

In an effort to cash in on some Sex and the City money, Friends has been given the go-ahead to be made into a film.

Now I am sure this will be a big movie, but it doesn’t have the same cult base as Sex and the City.  Women reference episodes and quote Carrie in their everyday lives, but I haven’t heard a Chandler Bing quote in like five or six years and none of the episodes ever remind me of my life.  People like the Friends cast (including Phoebe, which makes NO sense), they just didnt feel emotionally attached to them.

However, they do feel a deep emotional connection with Jennifer Aniston and her involvement is sure to hype the movie.  Expect lots of celeb weekly covers proclaiming the following:

“JEN’S BABY WOES-Will the Schedule of her New Movie Prevent Her from Having A Child?”

“JEN AND ANGIES HOLLYWOOD SHOWDOWN-Will Jen’s Movie Make More Than Angelina’s?

“BRAD AND JEN REUNITED-After Seeing Jen Return to Her Former Glory as Rachel, Brad Falls in Love Once Again.”

Or some other bullshit along those lines.

Click here to watch it now before it gets taken down.

I’ll spare you my gushing about Hunter S. Thompson, but not about the new documentary, Gonzo: The Life and Works of Hunter S. Thomson,  directed by director Alex Gibney and co-produced by Vanity Fair’s Graydon Carter. The flick is narrated by Johnny Depp and features those who knew him recalling him in all honesty. 

Trailer above.  It opens July 4.

Click here to see Charlie Rose interview  Jann S. Wenner, Graydon Carter and Alex Gibney.

Shadow told you about the new Bond trailer earlier and I wanted to add my two cents on films you should mark your calendars to see.  The Wackness, which premiered last night in NYC, has won a ton of critical acclaim already and went home with the Audience Award from Sundance this year.   

It comes out July 3, in select theaters.   The synopsis courtesy of imdb:

It’s the summer of 1994, and the streets of New York are pulsing with hip-hop. Set against this backdrop, Luke Shapiro (Josh Peck) spends his last summer before college selling dope throughout New York City, trading it with his shrink (Ben Kingsley) for therapy, while crushing on his step-daughter (Olivia Thirlby).

After looking over the reviews on Rotten Tomatoes, it seems as if Love Guru is the worst movie since Pootie Tang.  The critiques are listed below along with a few more excerpts from Slate (after the jump).

While the flick itself may not be humorous, the language used to describe the shitiness of the film is certainly hilarious.

“An oh-my-God-level disaster that’ll make you wonder if Hollywood actually hates us.”—NYT

“The movie as a whole feels like an embarrassing, drunken party video that should have been erased but was somehow released.”—Combustible Celluloid

“Let’s not pussyfoot around: The Love Guru is an atrocious, idiotic 88 minutes of anti-entertainment.” - NY Daily News

“At 88 minutes, The Love Guru would have benefited from a trim of roughly 80 minutes. ” - NY Post

“This tale of a guru who brings joy to all who meet him is the most joy-draining 88 minutes I’ve ever spent outside a hospital waiting room.”—Slate

“His character, and a ramshackle plot about a lovelorn hockey star (played by Romany Malco) are only crude pretexts for crotch humor, toilet humor, sexual outuendo, and a merciless succession of scenes involving flatulence, urination, and a dislikable dwarf.”—WSJ

“Myers marries his two passions (hockey and not being funny) into one noxious ball of shit and wiener jokes….” —Film Freak Central

So relentlessly juvenile as to merit a new twist on the PG-13 rating—one that strongly cautions not only those under 13 but anyone much above it, too.”—Variety

“If Mike Myers took a dump in a diaper, it couldn’t possibly smell any worse than this script.”—Cinema Blend

Click through for more from Slate.

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(Via VideoGum)

Studio heads — Can we get on this?

Who knew the diocese of Rome had such good taste?  It seems that they, along with those in the US who have this thing called “standards,” hate Dan Brown’s poorly written DaVinci Code and the even worse movie.

Tom Hanks and those involved with Angels and Demons, the DaCode prequel, have been banned from filming inside the Vatican since the story line of Jesus Christ marrying Mary Magdalene and having children does “not conform to their views.”

Monsignor Marco Fibbi stated ”Normally we read the script but this time it was not necessary. The name Dan Brown was enough.”

Let’s just hope the Archangel Gabriel isn’t so dismissive.  Although that whole, “Thou Shalt Not Write Fiction Books Involving Religion,” commandment can be a doozy to weasel out of.

Today is monumental.  Mark it on your calendar.  The eternal question has finally been solved.  How come the rest of Hulk’s clothes break off, but his pants stay on and grow with him?  Because otherwise, you’d have to shadow out all his junk.

(Via Radar)

Guess what?  Everyone’s favorite blue cartoons are coming to the big screen in a live action/animated version of the Smurfs! 

Now I love the Smurfs just as much of the next child of the ’80’s but I would just like to call attention to one fact that may sadly taint your perfect, nostalgic view.  The first lady smurf was actually created by Gargamel to bring evil to the Smurf village.  Check out the clip and shudder–she’s made of deception and lies!

Fucking Pig!

(Via MediaMatters.com)

Yeah, me either.

Did SJP’s dress look for the NYC premier of SATC look familiar to you? 

It may in fact, have.  The strapless Nina Ricci gown designed by Olivier Theyskens, has been worn by by Lauren (Davis) Santo Domingo at the Met ball and Lindsay Lohan for a photoshoot.

HUGE scandal.  For an event as big as the SATC premier, the dress Sarah chose to wear should have been a never before seen piece. 

A lot of people will look at this and be rational, saying that these stars should be thankful top wear these beautiful gowns for free, but as the NY Times states, “wearing a dress on the red carpet is business, and it is regarded that way in Hollywood or in the fashion.” 

That dress and designer is getting massive amounts of free PR, so Parker is rightfully upset.  She feels “deceived” by both Grauso and Theyskens, who met her in the studio and told her the dress had never been worn before.   She says, “It’s just unethical and disappointing that they would allow the dress to be worn again.”

I agree wih her, though I gotta say to the people over at Nina Ricci, I would be happy to wear one of your dresses no matter how many people have been photographed in it before.