UPDATED: NEW IPHONE TO GIVE YOU FASTER INTERNET, MAKE YOU COOLER

UPDATE: Not only is the new iPhone able to load websites in 21 seconds and cost just $199, but it has a slew of applications that will make keeping it out of your pocket and in clear site for admirers, not so asshole-ishly pretentious.  

Some features include  Auctions for eBay, several games (Super Monkey Ball from Sega), a mashup for getting Associated Press news and videos, TypePad mobile blogging, medical applications from Modality, and something called  Cow Music which lets you play grand piano, drums, and mix instrumental tracks on an iPhone, reports PC mag.

Most cooley, there is MobileMe-a sort of Flickr  which  will cost $99 a year, and includes 20GB of free online storage. The phones will be available in July.

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How are you holding up gadget dorks and connoisseurs?  Steve Jobs is just mere hours away from introducing the new iPhone at the World Wide Developers conference in San Francisco. 

The chatter thus far has been over what features will be included.  Facts so far: It’s a G3 phone and it’s only gonna cost $199 according to USA Today.  (Meaning I may be able to finally ditch my Zach Morris-style brick that not only looks like crap, but as I was recently informed (thanks N), is also probably giving me cancer).

Endgadget is saying that the new second generation device will have GPS, while Macscoop is saying no.  Engadget also thinks it will not have video-conferencing capabilities (they’ll save that for the third generation).

But it’s not like any of these features matter.  What matters is: WHEN CAN WE BUY ONE!?!

This new phone is going to be even more of a status symbol than the first one, so watch for plenty of finance assholes pulling out their new toy for no reason.  If I do go ahead and purchase one, watch for me wearing it around my neck on a huge gold, attention drawing chain.

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One Response to “UPDATED: NEW IPHONE TO GIVE YOU FASTER INTERNET, MAKE YOU COOLER”

  1. MOVE OVER iPHONE, iPORN IS ABOUT TO BLOW UP « MEANINGFUL DISTRACTION Says:

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