MEANINGFUL DISTRACTION

Damn! NY Times Manohla Dargis takes The Most Important Movie Ever, aka The Chick Superbowl, and gives it a serious talking down, making me and the millions of women like me, feel just a bit guiltier about loving everything Sex and the City.

The review begins by saying “a little Botox goes a long way in “Sex and the City,” but a little decent writing would have gone even further.” Ouch!

Manohla then goes on to say she thinks it should not have even been made, saying “I wish Ms. Parker had let that bee in her bonnet go silent, because the movie that she and Mr. King have come up with is the pits, a vulgar, shrill, deeply shallow — and, at 2 hours and 22 turgid minutes, overlong — addendum to a show that had, over the years, evolved and expanded in surprising ways.”

OMG! It’s like vaginal blasephemy. Or is it?

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This is hands down the happiest song EVAR!

The auction reads:

OWN SCREEN WORN SHIA UNDERWEAR!
PLEASE NOTE: COSTUME IS “AS IS” WHICH INCLUDES MAKEUP STAINS, DIRT; ETC! (Again, these items was worn and used for filming by Shia)

This costume was worn by Shia in the film, “A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints”.

You receive, a pair of grey sweatpants, a pair of white breifs and ankle socks. Each items is tagged “YD” (meaning: the character Young Dito as played by Shia in the film)!

This item comes with a letter of authenticity from First Look Media and an explanation of it’s donation to Actor’s Equity! It is noted by First Look that this item is “one of a kind” …and indeed it is!

Seriously, Mariah? Couldn’t you just throw the ball? Like really throw it and not act all cutesy and like a bitch about it. And while you are at it-put on some pants.

This is completely heartbreaking.  Never again will I be able to watch Lost in Translation, any Wes Anderson flick, What About Bob or even Ghostbusters (God, there are so many good ones) the same!  Bill’s wife Jennifer Butler is not only divorcing him after 10 years of marriage, but is making claims of  drug addiction, physical abuse, adultery and abandonment.  She has also asked for a restraining order.

Please Bill, for all that is off-handedly charming and good of you, say it aint so.

According to TMZ, Clay has impregnanted his roomate/best friend/ record producer Jaymes Foster!  But don’t be sad gays-it was via artifial insemination.

Was that really necessary?

Cross my heart and hope to die, two monkeys with tiny brain sensors have learned to move a mechanical robot arm with just their mind, reports the NY Times! Scary-crazy!

A grid in the super-monkey’s brain carries signals from 100 neurons and moves the arm so that they can grab food. Scientists expect that this sort of machine-brain tech will at some point let people with spinal cord injuries and other paralyzing conditions to gain more control over their lives.

Which is great, but seems like something the military or some evil world power would be able to use for total domination, no? What would Charleton Heston (RIP) think?  Monkey Revolution NOW!

Yay! SciFi is bringing back the candid camera show Scare Tactics which would take unsuspecting people and unfairly and pointlessly scare the shit out of them. They even got a lawsuit from a woman who suffered irreversible psychological damage.

So why Yay? Tracey Morgan is set to host!

(ViaVideoGum)

Former press secretary Scott McClellan’s new book is getting a ton of backlash from the Whitehouse as well as critics who just don’t understand why he is speaking out now.  

This morning on The Today Show, Scott fired back explaining  that he ”gave them [Bush and co.] the benefit of the doubt, like a lot of Americans.”  He is expressing his views now because of “a loyalty to the truth and the values I was raised on.”

Scott also brought out some new allegations:

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I suddenly feel like I am writing for the Onion or National Enquirer, but there is a Denver man who is seriously commissioning for the arrival of alien visitors. 

Jeff Peckman is planning on releasing authentic video footage of 4ft tall gray spacemen and asks that an 18-member Extraterrestrial Affairs Commission be put in place.

When asked by city boardman if he was serious (read-completely fucking nuts), Jeff responded that while he has never actually seen an alien before, there have been UFOs landing in Los Angeles and hovering near the White House. 

Jeff needs 4,000 signatures to get the proposal on the ballot. So I guess we will find out just how many people are seriously gullible.

I’m so disgusted, I have no words.

This thing is MASSIVE! I just saw a History Channel special on this bitch and still can’t believe it. It was caught a few years back and weighed 1,051 lbs and measured 9-feet-4-inches.

It looks like something out of a bad cautionary fairy tale. If Hansel and Gretel came face to face with this monster instead of a cannibalistic witch, I am betting more kids would think twice about running away.

Crazy thing is though-it was an 11-year-old Alabama boy who shot it. Can you believe a pistol killed that son-of-a-bitch? It must of had silver bullets.

And while it scares the crap out of me, it also (oddly enough) makes me think of a your mamma’s so fat joke.  Sad.

A friend of mine just introduced me to this band and they rock.  Take a listen.   I also suggest taking a visit to their MySpace.

(Thanks Jonah! XOXO)

The eternal bachelor will remin that way, reports People.

I never thought I would be sticking up for annoying as shit TV host, Rachel Ray, but Dunkin Donuts has just pulled this ad.   People are claiming that her scarf looks like a keffiyeh, which is a traditional symbol of Palestinian solidarity.

The whole controversy started when Fox News’s right wing commentator Michelle Malkin called for a DD boycott, saying ‘‘The keffiyeh, for the clueless, is the traditional scarf of Arab men that has come to symbolize murderous Palestinian jihad.’’

The company at first just ignored the claim, because really, if you look at the picture, she is just wearing a paisley scarf. But after being bullied by bloggers, has decided to just pull the ad.

Alarmism much? Who knows what sort of chaos would befall civilization if Midwestern housewives and other domestic types confused Rachel Ray with an AK47 toting, Arab jihadist, but really, I doubt it would go that far.

The whole keffiyeh controversy has been going on for some time now.  UrbanOutfitters was selling them as “peace scarves” in 2007 and had them removed after mass complaints.  Nowadays, the things are ubiquitous in NY as black leggings and skinny jeans.  Hell, I even have one.

Does this mean I am a terrorist or pro-Palestine?  I’m a Jew for Jesus sake!  Here’s the deal-These groups are pissed because everyone wearing them and viewing these symbols as fashion, has watered down their significance and trivialized it to the point of no longer being a symbol.

The keffiyeh thing has got to end.  I’ll raise my DD to that.

Balloon twisting is by far one of the world’s most underrates art forms.  There is no limit to the imagination.  These people are balloon evangelists singing the gospel of blow and twist.  Their work has gotten them out of trailer parks, a poppable doggy saving them from a life in the trailer park.  Basically: Inspiring. 

Also-Really funny.  I can not wait to see this. 

(Via BWE)

More often than not I look at the people I went to school with who have become teachers and think-Holy shit, I can not believe that they are forming young childrens’ minds.  They are complete morons/assholes/perverts/immature idiots, etc.

Usually I figure I am being to harsh, because after-all, it has been a while since I was in school and these people have degrees now and hopefully, maturity. 

But then there comes a story like this, to just freak me out a bit more.   A teacher in Florida brought a five year old, special needs student up in front of the class and asked his peers to tell them why they hated him and to vote on whether they wanted him around anymore. 

The vote was to kick him out of the class.

The boys’ mother is obviously appalled and pissed off.  The school district is currently investigating the situation.

But really, isn’t there only one answer?  Drag the bitch up in front of parents, the school board and her peers and have everyone ream her about how much they hate her.  Then fire her ass!  People like her make me want to cry.

The first big insider tell-all of the Bush Administration, “What Happened: Inside the Bush White House and Washington’s Culture of Deception” is a serious and scathing shocker. 

The book is penned by former Press Secretary and Bush-loyalist Scott McClellan and focuses on how the Iraq War was basically a marketing ploy that was sold to Americans as a sophisticated “political propaganda campaign.”  Lets bomb some people kids, it’s cool and will make you beautiful, thin and well-liked.  All that’s missing now is a jingle. 

As if thousands of innocent lives lost and families destroyed from a war that was never needed wasn’t cause enough for outrage, McClellan also sheds light on the administrations handling of Hurricane Katrina.  He says that after the disaster, the White House “spent most of the first week in a state of denial.”  A week in which people were dying, thirsty and stranded.

But that aint all folks.  Bush hasn’t been the only busy boy.  His henchman have been doing their fair share. 

McClellan also makes allegations that Karl Rove, the president’s senior adviser, and I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby, the vice president’s chief of staff had “misled” him about their roles in revealing Valerie Plame’s identity.

This entirety of this is: sad, disgusting, evil and probably the worst scam in the history of the US government. 

With eight months left in Bush’s term, should he be impeached? 

Thoughts? 

Things got sexy outside of Radio City Music Hall yesterday as the stars of SATC hit the pink, swarovski-encrusted carpet.  I should have been there, yet sadly was not (tears).

SJP donned Nina Ricci, Kim Cattrall turned up the heat in Vivienne Westwood, Kristen Davis donned Donna Karan and Cynthia Nixon chose a non-metallic Narcisco Rodriguez.

The crowd was massive and stretched around the block. Over 2,000 seriously pissed off women in too tall stilettos, who had won tickets via New Line Cinema’s promotions, were turned away because organizers overbooked.

After the filming, the party moved to MOMA’s Abby Aldrich Rockefeller Sculpture Garden.

Swarowski donated  over half a million dollars of its goods.  Over 500 crystal heart ornaments adorned the trees in the garden and there was also a Blossom chandelier of pink and green crystals.  In addition, more bling was added with a crystal-encrusted sofa worth over $100,000 (uncomfortable), a crystal curtain, crystal lanterns and fuchsia crystals on the DJ booth.

But that’s not all.  Waiters passing hors d’oeuvres on trays with a “Sex and the City” logo made entirely of freaking Swarovski crystals!

Ashley Olsen, Mary J. Blige, Fergie, Edie Falco, Vogueeditor Anna Wintour, Lil’ Kim, Melania Trump and Jerry Seinfeld were just a few big names that came out for the glam evening.

I’m so freaking jealous!

Listen up!  No really. Head over to the Isle Wright festival website and check out Temposhark!  Then vote for them so they can play at the festival, which is sort like the Brit version of Lollapolooza. 

The initiative will raise money for research and is backed by entertainment industry executives, celebrities, prominent leaders in cancer research and patient advocacy, and the three major networks-ABC, CBS and NBC.

The networks will be donating one hour of simultaneous commercial-free prime time for a nationally televised fundraising airing on  September 5 at 8 pm EDT.

Charles Gibson and Brian Williams will join Katie on the Today Show tommorow to make the announcement.

You can check out the website now, by clicking here.

After previously posting on all the shit Hillary takes in the media, it’s impossible to not mention how much love they give Obama. So much love in fact, that today it overflowed in an article titled “On the Trail, One Aide Looms Over Obama,” which describes Bam’s aide Reggie Love like some sort of frat manuscript.  (Take a look after the jump at some wasted on the couch and getting-a-penis-drawn-on-my-face-action from ol’Reg while in college)

Maybe it will get kids more involved and I am sure the dude is in fact awesome and bro-wrothy, etc., but the whole thing just seems so ass-kissing.

Reggie Love, who really does have a pimped out name, is a mere 26 years old (check him out in the pic-he’s the one on the right-26?) and certainly does have one of the most enviable jobs in the country. It’s just the way that they fawn over how cool he is, that grinds on my nerves.  In fact, NYT calls Reg even “cooler than the cool candidate.”

Why? He gets to hang with Bam, watching ESPN and going to the gym. He gets to carry a Tide to Go Pen and introduced the Senator to Jay-Z. Plus Reggie gets the low down on all the Senator “eats pretty much anything, from chicken wings and barbecue and ribs to grilled fish and steamed broccoli.

Okay, okay, not so cool. But check this out-The pair play b-ball together every primary day.Obama even says,“There’s no doubt that Reggie is cooler than I am.”

Other aides aint so lucky. Senator John Kerry’s aide for his presidential race in 2004 was “part butler, part buddy,.” and Bill Clinton’s pulled ass for him. Just kidding. Billy’s aide said there relationship “felt more like that of an old married couple.”  Hill however, is close with her aide Huma Abedin.  Maybe she isn’t young, but she is glamorous (article hint!).

But I guess politics really is like college rush (except you drinking better alcohol and can blow up entire countries-rockin!).  The coolest person is going to win, not necessarily the best candidate. 

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This dude is:
a) A Robot
b) An Alien
c) A Robot Alien
d) Fucking Awesome